Opposite Day

by ODDSn_nds

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03:11
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about

Exactly the opposite of what you'd expect from a blues guitarist...

* Enter George

George : It's not working, Jerry. It's just not working.

Jerry : What is it that isn't working?

George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every facet of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.

( A waitress comes up to G )

Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.

George : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea.

Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this.

( A blonde looks at George )

Elaine : Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you.

George : So what? What am I supposed to do?

Elaine : Go talk to her.

George : Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don't approach strange women.

Jerry : Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them.

George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should.

Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do

something!

( He goes over to the woman )

George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction.

Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.

( G takes a deep breath )

George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.

Victoria : I'm Victoria. Hi.

credits

released February 14, 2016

Written and Performed by Dan Rodriguez
Recorded, Engineered, Mixed by Rob Freeman; Audio Pilot Studios
Mastered by Joe Egan; Missile Silo Studios
Album Artwork: Treebo @ RealLifeScaleDrawings.com

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about

ODDSn_nds Morristown, New Jersey

ODDSn_nds is the solo project of Dan Rodriguez. The goal is simply to experiment and enjoy the creative process.

If you enjoy the sounds, please download and share what you've heard. My music will always be free.

If you don't like the sounds, please contact Betsy at the ODDSn_nds complaint dept via the email link at the top of the page.
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Track Name: Don't Mess Up
Just cause the stars align for your moment
Finish lines aren't crossed when you toe em
So don't mess up

There you go standing on the outside
You know when the chance is there you cannot be
Weightless in wind, you'll fight & fight
So don't mess up

In walks the girl of your dreams and you're wasted
Make your move or face it

If only I knew there was a sign
To take me back in time
for no reason or rhyme
Just don't mess up

When the crowd's upside down, turn the bass up
Why mess with formulas?

Just cause the stars are aligned
If you don't show than you won't shine
A lesson learned forward in time
So don't mess up
Track Name: Sorry, Not Sorry
I'm not sorry
I'm not sorry, at all

I will never give up what's under my sleeve away

I'm not sorry
Track Name: VPI
Rise & gasp for air
Bleed your lung as fare
Then get leather boots to faces
Thanks for your service, that's payment

Drag the lean ashore
All the bits are torn
You're on Vulture Pit Island
And they're laughing all the way to the bank

Ain't nothing that's sacred around here
Their iron claws are miles drawn around you

'Round & 'round & 'round they circle
'Round & 'round & 'round they go
Now or then someone will tell those
Vultures go in attack mode

They won't turn around
'Round & 'round & 'round they circle

Ain't nothing that's sacred around here

Fresh new blood with teeth
The challenge bests the feast
We don't skin the fur from eyelids
Mangled bones service our pallets

Now's the time for prey
Honor all we say
You're on Vulture Pit Island
Born on date innocent

They won't turn around
'Round & 'round & 'round they circle
'Round & 'round & 'round they go
Now or then someone will tell those
Vultures go in attack mode